Spotters Club

… where lost & found meet!

Zendaya and Tom Holland relationship timeline

Talk About Your Past It’s more common than you might think for people to start dating someone and then, as they get to know each other, discover something about their past. And while the idea of people finding out early that you’re a crazy cat lady is obviously a deal breaker, there’s no need to talk about every detail right off the bat. For example, here is a conversation I overheard recently at a bar: “So, are you in town for a weekend or just passing through?” “I’m in town for a week to try and score some free tix to the Tonys.” “Oh, cool. Me too. I’m a huge Tony fan.” “Really? What do you see in a guy who brings his M-16 to the theater?” “I wasn’t actually bringing my M-16 to the theater.” “Really?” “No. I was going to bring my 50mm and give this guy a letter from the NAACP.” Other elements of your past that are more likely to come up than you might think are: -Your job, where you went to school, your parents’ divorce, etc. -Your hobbies, if you have any. -Your religious beliefs. -Where you’ve been. Here’s a note of caution: Don’t go full-on cold-open with the line that you always knew I’d say that. That could be incredibly awkward—and is a bit of a non-con, unless you’re talking to someone you trust absolutely. If it comes up, here’s what to say: On the Topic of Your Job “I know you’re thinking about my job right now and wondering whether it’s safe to ask me about it. But I’ve been thinking about it too, and I realized that I’ve been working at it all my life. I started when I was 14, and I’ve been doing it ever since. I’m a professional job person. I’m also an aspiring comedian, but I’m not like stand-up. I do impressions, bits, storytelling, you know, stand-up humor. I do almost a real job.” If you’ve been out of the workforce for a while, that “I’ve been working on it my whole life” will seem both interesting and personal. Plus, the discussion will give you the opportunity to show off your resume
Whether you’re a curious bystander at a bar or an eager go-getter trying to meet your future soul mate, it’s all here, and it might even change your life. Follow the steps of the highly successful—or at least, the not-so-highly unsuccessful—dating heroes of the Internet age. And if you find yourself wondering whether you have what it takes to advance to the next level of online dating, try this experiment: Get out of the house and meet some real people! You’ll thank me later. Step 1: Meet the People Who Will Be Your First Dates Let’s start with the most important thing: Finding someone—a potential partner, or a potential pen pal, or a potential boyfriend. The best place to start is online. How Does It Work? Online dating has revolutionized the entire world of picking up strangers. Sites like eHarmony are a staple, but plenty of folks turn to apps like Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. Each site has its own quirks (OKCupid’s is pretty great), but they all have one thing in common: They hook you up with strangers and let you pick your own match (or matches). When you’re logged in to a site, you can send out “winks” to other users who are also logged in, or you can search by zip code or location, and you can browse users’ details and photos, read their profile, and, if you’re feeling chatty, send an “out” to them. The best part of online dating is that you can do it anywhere—be it with a laptop or a smartphone. Once you start chatting with a stranger, online dating becomes the most private of activities. Unless you want it to be. The Worst Part: The Online Wilderness An important warning: Online dating is about as honest as a lie-detector test. There are several sites, especially OkCupid, that allow you to see other people’s photos and profiles before you send a wink to them—and if a stranger catches you going through her profile, you might want to consider spilling your drink over your laptop. Also note that you might feel a little weird or uncomfortable when a stranger decides to send you a message without having met you first—I know that I do, and the anonymity can be a little awkward. How to Get the Best Results: Put Your Best Foot Forward The first thing you need to do

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