Spotters Club

… where lost & found meet!

Jason Oppenheim Doesn’t Want Guy Listings Because He is So Hateful

Dating is basically falling in love by wandering through a common room populated by like-minded people. Someone at your next barbeque, at your next party, in the next cubicle—you never know who will be walking up to you, introducing themselves, and asking if you’d like to grab coffee. Whether or not you’re interested in them, make sure you learn as much about them as you can to determine whether they’re someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with (let’s be real, there are a lot of people who you’ll get along with for a lifetime but will never share coffee with, but you can still date them, right?). And what better place to learn this than from a master? We talked to some of the most well-versed experts in the dating world about how to find a date, attract a date, and keep a date.

The number one rule of dating is, “be yourself.”

Nathaniel Rogen, screenwriter and expert on everything dating

“The easiest way to get a date is to be yourself. It’s going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, and there will be a lot of funny looks and judgment, but they’ll end up falling in love with you.”

Rogen wrote the screenplay for 30 Rock, and he’s spent much of his time since writing movies such as Superbad, This is 40, and Knocked Up. With that experience, he knows what it takes to write a screenplay, but he also knows what it means to date. He said there are a few things to remember when making the transition from scriptwriting to dating. The first is to be yourself, and it doesn’t hurt to be charming. “I’ve talked to so many women who have found success after writing a screenplay who said how much they believe they should be a fake version of themselves as they write their screenplay because they want to get the job. But if you’re not going to be yourself when you apply for the job or ask someone out, and you’re just going to pretend to be a witty version of yourself, that’s a flawed strategy.”

The second, and maybe more important, thing is to learn to listen. “You have to be open to hearing people’s stories, and being able to tell them your stories and hopefully they’ll love what you say. And to be honest, it means you have to practice it and you have to know how to really listen. We’re all serial listeners, but
Give You a Reason to Talk To Them

While we love to rave about the benefits of using a dating service, there is a tiny, gilded problem: You don’t have anyone to go out with. In a previous article, we talked about how online dating sites have made the world’s top ten lists because they let us connect with people who don’t live near us. But, do you really want to go out with the weird and awkward guy/girl who tries to talk about something as banal as why he/she likes to watch reality TV? Besides, isn’t that what relationships are for?

You’re worried about the love-connection thing, but this is what most dating websites are for. Sure, you’re meeting people online, but what they say can inspire you to start thinking about who you really are and what you really want from a potential partner. You may be surprised to hear that you’re not only getting a healthy insight into yourself, but you can even learn a little something about your potential match. The types of questions you ask the person you’ve met through a dating service may also help you gauge the kind of relationship you’re looking for.

You’ll learn a lot about yourself in this way, but the best part is that it is free.

With a bit of research, you can make yourself more interesting than “the nice guy/girl who just wants to watch the Giants game.” Here are a few questions you can ask your potential soul mate to get to know them better.

What are your interests? If you’re the nerdy guy who reads books about astrophysics while writing your own blog or someone who loves shopping at the local flea market, your partner should probably know that. You’re not going to ask your future date how many hours he/she spends on the Internet, but it’s a fair question to ask. And if your date is a bit of an egghead, you might want to know what their favorite book is. Again, don’t be too obvious about it, but this type of question shows your date that you are getting to know them, and that you’re interested in their interests.

What do you want out of a relationship? Again, this isn’t going to turn off your date if you ask this, but it might turn off your friends if they’ve invited you out with them to try new restaurants.

What are your goals in life? Are you going to pursue a PhD in astrophysics or move back

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