Spotters Club

… where lost & found meet!


Photo by Noah Smith / Flickr But first: Have you checked your voicemail lately? By the time you read this, you should have been to voicemail and deleted all of your messages. (Yes, I’m serious.) If you’re into being dumped, you might want to consider deleting your texts right now, too. Also, when in doubt, agree to meet up with someone first. Hell, a girl totally can get laid just by saying, “Sure, let’s meet at Sonic, I’ll drive.” If you feel like you can nail a guy with just your words, then go ahead and shoot out your texts at your leisure. You can change your mind later. Also, please do not make me remind you how to say goodbye. You will regret it. So let’s face it, dating is a pretty stressful process, and if you’re a socially awkward person who’s ever avoided hitting on someone for fear of looking like a weirdo, then this can be a real problem. These days, there are so many ways to find dates. You can go to the gym with your friends, go on a blind date, or even do a Skype thing. You can get dressed up in heels and makeup and go to a fancy dinner with friends. You can meet a new friend at happy hour or go to an improv comedy show. There are so many options out there, it’s tough to know what to do, and that can lead to stress and more stress, which is the last thing you need. But if you feel good about yourself, you’re not afraid to go meet someone who’s new to you, and you’re not lonely and bored in your own life, then that’s what it’s all about. The point is to meet people in situations you find comfortable, like a friends’ party, a comedy show, or an after-hours club. Once you’ve done that, it’s time to start looking for a connection. Spend some time online. You don’t have to spend a fortune, but you do need to set up a few profiles, so you have something to look at when you go online. You can use some of the sites listed below, but if you’re looking for something that’s easier and sexier, try Go to a club. Sure, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to meet someone in a club, but if you go alone, it’s a lot easier
What if I want to date someone based on compatibility? Determining if you’re compatible with someone before you meet them can be a difficult process. Of course, everyone’s relationship preferences are different—and you should always pay attention to the way you feel about a person—but you should be open to the possibilities of getting to know a potential mate before committing to an exclusive, romantic relationship with them. It may sound scary, but this practice gives you an opportunity to consider the best possible outcome for both of you. This practice can be especially important for older adults, who are more likely to have gone through cycles of dates or marriages that didn’t work out, or who may be looking for a partner for the first time. Having a system in place can help you determine if you really click with someone. I think, for example, that this may be a good approach for a newly-divorced couple who are looking to date again, in case they choose to rebuild their relationship. Of course, if you are concerned that your first date with someone will go bad—if you have a fear that you’ll end up having to bail out of the date, or get caught having a panic attack, for example—it might be best to skip it. Also, it can make dating scary, since it might feel like you’re getting blindsided and don’t know what to expect. But the best part is that you’ll know you’re the kind of person who can approach dating as an empowering, exciting experience. You can enjoy dating, have fun, and ultimately go on great dates with potential partners. Here are three ways to do so: Talk to friends, relatives, and acquaintances about potential dates As you begin the process of looking for a life partner, you’ll want to talk to the people in your life about potential dates. While this might feel like a violation of dating norms, it’s actually a wonderful approach to dating that can lead you to more opportunities in the future. People often have trouble bringing up good dating prospects when they go through the dating process alone, or they have trouble going out on first dates with new people. If you’ve been single for a while, start approaching people you know about potential dates and ask them questions about the person (or people) you’re looking for. This gives you the opportunity to hear about a variety of people and to observe them in a variety of situations before meeting them. A great way to go about this is to put out

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