Spotters Club

… where lost & found meet!

The Best Dating Apps of 2016

I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not advocating doing things that are illegal or are a certain religion’s way of doing something. Most of this advice is about how to present yourself on the Internet, on dating sites, in person, or on the phone. It’s pretty basic stuff, but when you think about it, dating is like a business transaction—and presenting yourself well is the best way to make a good impression. Plus, you don’t need to break the law to be safe.

This is also not about hook-ups. If you’re looking for someone to hook up with, find someone in your town and go from there. If you’re looking for a relationship, then this guide is probably more relevant to you.

1. Do your research on the person you’re going to meet

The Internet and dating sites have made it easier than ever to look through someone’s profile, but that doesn’t make it right. We’re all guilty of making false assumptions about people based on their Facebook profile pictures and profile statuses. You don’t have to click through a person’s entire profile, but if you’re looking to date them, you should at least be able to tell if they have children, or have lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of weight, or are religious, or if their primary interest is salsa dancing, or if they’re into electronica.

An okay profile isn’t just one thing, like, if they have a professional job, or if they’re trying to look for a mate online. It’s not even if they like certain things—like, I’m looking for someone who likes heavy metal, but if they listed it in their profile and I’m really into the stuff, that’s fine. But if you’re gonna say something that’s exaggerated, that makes you sound immature, or if you don’t really know what you’re talking about, then it’s probably not worth saying it. Maybe just listing something in a profile you like to do, if you’re meeting the person at a bar or a party, is all that’s required.

What you should avoid is if they go on about something, but you don’t know the first thing about it. You should at least mention it if it’s something you’re interested in, but be honest about what it is and how much you know about it. “I love karaoke. You?” Is obviously a bad way to ask if you want to hang out.

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Now, whether you want to be the best romantic prospect in the world or just a fun, friendly, laid-back guy, remember that you don’t have to put on an act. Just say what’s on your mind, and a date will likely follow. So, we’ve sat down with different guys (some of them straight, some of them gay, some of them bi, some of them just really, really nice) to help you get past some of those insecurities you may have about dating and in turn, hopefully make your dating life more fun.

I’m going to ask you a lot of stupid questions. The only person you’re going to have to be concerned about is you.

Ask the Match.com Guy

How do you meet someone in your city?

Good question, because the answer is largely tied to how you are advertising yourself. I receive a message on Match.com every time I sign in: a friend, a co-worker or a blog I write. It also says who I am and what I am doing. Sometimes the message includes a brief written message. Sometimes it doesn’t. What I’m looking for is a match, not a conversation. If I don’t get a message, it’s because the other person doesn’t have time to write, or they haven’t received a message from me. It’s that simple.

You could also ask yourself, “What should I be doing differently on Match.com?” You should work hard to tell a good story about yourself. If you only do one or two things to help tell a story, it will appear that you have a lot of clutter in your profile. Try writing up a list of all the things you’d like to share about yourself. And, if you’re on a phone or online dating site that doesn’t allow photographs, you can also send a written photo.

What’s the one thing you’re looking for in a relationship?

I would prefer a committed relationship that lasts for a long time. I had a really great high school friend, Charlie. We’ve been best friends for 15 years. I would like that for myself. I don’t have a lot of time to meet someone. I’ll be 40 this year. I want to be settled down. I want someone who respects and loves me and will stick by me for the next 20 or 30 years. If that person can’t be me, then that’s OK.

What is the first thing you

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